Lent 2011 Part III

I remembered a brief experience I had several months ago. While I was on jury duty I was walking to a pizza place I had gone to the day before during lunch and passed a man asking for money. I didn't have any cash and I had a whole hour for lunch so I asked him if he'd like to get some pizza with me. We walked several blocks together in an awkward silence and he got his pizza and took it outside to eat alone. This was the first time I had done anything beyond giving someone money so I think that maybe this experience is what gave me the idea to pursue it as a Lenten project.

Today, with leftovers for lunch, I didn't meet anyone until I was on my way home at 5pm-ish. As I exited the convention center, through which I walk on my way to the bus, I saw someone with a cardboard sign and a fox tail across the street. Initially I convinced myself that I was too tired and could always do this tomorrow and I continued to the bus stop a couple blocks away. As I waited for the bus I was realizing that I was trading the 15 minutes or so to get someone food for a tiny bit of comfort for myself. There were a lot of people waiting for the bus so I decided to leave it up to chance...if there wasn't room on the next bus that showed up I would go back and get them lunch. When two 312s showed up I was able to laugh at how ridiculous I was being trying to justify and finagle my way around this commitment I'd made so I crossed the street and started my way back.

Right across the street I ran into a Vet, as his sign read, sitting on the ground asleep at a corner with a plastic cup in front of him. I thought about it and decided to let him sleep, I felt I'd already picked who I was going to go to. Just across the street there was a young man who's sign said he was just trying to get home, I decided to ask him if I could get him something from Subway and he walked with me. He told me that he was trying to get home to someplace in California, I didn't catch the city name. He was pretty nice, very thankful and very annoyed at his friends who had "abandoned" him up here. He said he wasn't used to the weather.

I had the sandwich maker double his meatball sandwich with chipoltle sauce and a coke (It seems he'd had occasion to order the same thing earlier in the day so they knew what he wanted already) and brought the second sandwich to the first person I'd seen with the tail. Evidently the two knew each other, siblings?, as he followed me over and started talking with the girl with the tail. They both thanked me and I ran off to narrowly miss the 522. Hopefully they make it home alright.

Lent 2011 Part II

It took me at least 15 minutes walking around downtown today to find anybody in need of lunch. The gentleman I found was a very homeless African American about my age or a little younger. He was in the process of getting lunch out of a trash can in Westlake Park. As I approached behind him he opened one of those dipping containers of ranch dressing and started licking it out.

I asked him if I could buy him lunch and he said okay. I said he could go anywhere he wanted and he suggested McDonalds...I mentioned a place around the corner I hadn't been to but silently figured it had to be better than McDonalds and he said that sounded good so we went to Georgio's Subs  He looked fairly healthy but he must have had a leg injury because he walked very slowly. At first I didnt' know if he was just trying to not embarrass me by walking next to me but when I slowed down, his pace didn't change and I finally noticed a very slight limp. He got a meatball sub but they didn't have coffee so we went next door to get him a cup of black coffee.  

I left him with $10 because I wanted to keep him out of the trash can for at least one more meal...but his situation still leaves me feeling sick and depressed...not that I hadn't seen other people doing the same thing before...  Nobody deserves to live off my trash.  His demeanor was definitely not inviting me to eat with him, though I didn't ask.  Now I find myself near tears as I sit down to lunch and open my packet of starburst with my egg salad sandwich -- I realized on my way back up the hill to work that it's Friday and I'd ordered a turkey sub for myself so I stuck it in the fridge and went across the street to get another, more appropriate, sandwich (no meat).

I don't know what to say about today's experience. I'm overwhelmed by the need to keep doing this more and more and at the same time I know I can't afford to do it too much, or even much more than I am right now to be honest...money sucks. It's a strange feeling but it seems like it's a lot harder, emotionally and materialistically, to give to someone with great needs than it is to give to someone with moderate needs.

Even failblog is failing to cheer me up right now...which, I suppose, is a good thing.

Lent 2011 Part I

A few days late but, Happy Lent everybody.  For Lent I'm trying something a little different. I was going to keep it personal but maybe it's better if I share my experiences.

At least once every week I am going downtown to find someone on the street asking for money and buying them lunch.

My first attempt last week was a major fail.  I was waiting for the bus to go home from work and a woman came up to me with a ragged paper cup, in tears, asking for money.  At the same moment my bus showed up and so I was distracted.  I don't carry cash, I told her so, appologized and got on my bus.  Only then did I realize what an opportunity I'd missed to get a good start on my Lenten promises so I got back off my bus and wandered around several blocks looking for her but didn't see her again.  Hopefully someone else was good enough to give her some money so she was inside somewhere getting what she needed.

The next day, eager after my failure, I found a young guy, probably about my age, who had just hitch hiked from Montana. He didn't want to leave his corner because someone else had promised to bring him some money after going to an ATM so I brought him some pizza slices and pop and he was very thankful.

Then last week on my way back from the Beat The Bridge team captain meeting (shameless plug: please join my team!  www.beatthebridge.org/goto/bri) I tried to ask an old man if he'd like lunch.  I learned then that, in fact, beggars can be choosers...I felt bad afterwards for not trying harder but he didn't want to walk with me but about 20 minutes the other direction to the waterfront for lunch.  I guess he probably makes enough on that corner to buy himself whatever lunch he wants.  He spat prolifically when he talked too so I wasn't exactly unhappy to move on at the time.  Now it depresses me to think how easily I lose my resolve.

Today I found a gentleman I'd seen on his corner many times before. I took him to One Union Square and he picked the first restaurant I mentioned (he couldn't see well), Blue Water Taco Grill. He was probably in his late 40s though he looked near 60. His cardboard sign told me that he was a Vet so I asked him about it and he told me that he spent 12 years in the navy before being discharged after one too many bar fights with "those Marines...always looking for a fight." He was very mild mannered, thankful and kind.

I'm still working my way into being comfortable with this but I think I'll try to step it up next week and see if they want to eat with me as well. I think the interpersonal aspects of this whole thing may be more valuable to them than the lunch.

More to come, I suppose, as Lent progresses.