Lent 2011 Part VI

What a great way to start the day. For the past 3 weeks Seattle's Union Gospel Mission has had a new program called Morning Watch. They have a van that they drive around the downtown area to pick up homeless people, give them some hot chocolate and offer to take them to the UGM for some breakfast. Local businesses can call a number to request the van to swing by if they have someone sleeping on their business' threshold. It's a great program that solves several problems with a simple, straightforward system that will hopefully grow with time.

What better way to spend a Good Friday morning than making it my first time volunteering for this great service from 7-9am. It was fun to offer a hand and some company to the guy who's been running it solo for the last few weeks -- a job that would be daunting at best and downright frightening at worst to have to start building relationships with complete strangers in environments that are...not conducive to chit chat. I met several very nice people, most of whom already knew of the service and have come to expect at least the hot drink if not a ride to breakfast. We gave 3 people rides to different places including taking one person to breakfast. The hot chocolate was a big hit, though a couple of the people were much more interested in whether we had socks to give them...it seems with Seattle's general dampness the feet of the homeless suffer more than the rest of them. I think they are going to look into carrying some of those supplies along with us in the van sometime in the future.

Walking back to work I didn't run into anybody needing breakfast so I actually didn't get to buy anybody a meal this week - though I still have to go to work tomorrow so we'll see - but I figure the Morning Watch is a satisfactory filler. I definitely plan on continuing this project since, well, I don't think I could stop now that I feel my eyes have been opened to a problem that I can actually help. I'll try to keep up a blog once a week or so. Thanks for reading and have a happy Easter!

P.S. I'd get more in depth and artsy with the writing but Zakuani just had his leg broken by a jerk in Colorado and I'm in a bad mood now...

Lent 2011 Part V

Yesterday I went to McDonalds with Marc, a very enthusiastic old man who has been on the street for a long time. When I asked him if I could buy him dinner he literally jumped, "sure!" He tossed his empty paper change cup nonchalantly into the street and started toward McDonalds.
On the way, he asked me where I'd come from and why I would want to buy him dinner. He said, "what, do I look poor or something?" I pointed out that he had been asking for money and told him that I just didn't think he deserved to be out here begging and this is the smallest thing I can do to help. He responded by asking me if he could get a milkshake, he was dying for a milkshake. I told him of course, he could order anything he'd like. He asked my name and we introduced ourselves with a handshake.

On the way to the "restaurant" (I don't like taking people to McDonalds apparently...) he was very fixated on how he could get any cash out of the transaction. I had to tell him 3 times I didn't have any cash and then I had to explain that I wouldn't be able to get cash back during the transaction because I'd be using a credit card. I could have used my debit card I suppose but I got a funny feeling about the way he was asking and it made me want to not give him cash. I realize that my hesitations are silly if not entirely unfounded. It is the ultimate conundrum of giving: what will the person do with the money I give them? My response to this question, if I'm to give the person anything at all, has to be, "I don't care." For in the best of circumstances I will simply never know what they will do.
I definitely have a prejudice against giving money to beggars who are smoking a cigarette or holding a sign saying they need the money for booze. I can't bring myself to help these people who so desperately need help because I don't want to enable their unhealthy habit. However, to use Marc as a hypothetical example, say that he was trying to get some extra cash out of my dinner so that he could go buy drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. My contribution, dinner, while not exactly the money he will use to buy said items will still help him obtain them because he won't have to use the money other people give him to buy dinner. Recognizing this, I have to decide right up front if I'm going to give people handouts regardless of what they may do with them or not. In the end, because of my Catholic duty and just a feeling that it's the right thing to do, I conclude that I should give and I should give unconditionally and without prejudice. I suspect knowing this won't make it easy but it is what it is.

Marc is probably in his 60s with a full grey beard and, though he told me he was wearing 3 shirts and a jacket, I could distinctly see the outline of his back and shoulderblades. He was polite, if a little unpracticed at being so, and made it a point to remember my name when I took my leave.

This post is already a bit rambly so I may as well add one more random thought I had about this process. I've been thinking about the potential negative physiologic effects my project might have on the homeless people I'm trying to help. I suspect that most people living on the streets have some idea of their allergies and foods they should avoid. However, there is a risk of introducing someone to a substance they have a bad reaction to when I take them to a restaurant they've never been to before and potentially eat food they've never had before. Not something to prevent me from taking people out but definitely something to be aware of. Beyond that, there is diet to consider as well. It may not always be the most healthy thing for someone who has been living out of a trash can on sauce packets and moldy, stale leftovers to suddenly be taken to the Cheesecake Factory, for example, and fed a 9oz steak. I don't know if there is any threat to their system under these circumstances but it's something I feel I should do some research on before I end up doing more damage than good to someone who's got enough problems already.

Thanks for reading, I'm enjoying the project and this blog has been one more thing I look forward to as an incentive to find people to help. I hope you're all having a great week.

Lent 2011 Part IV.V

Blake, Leslie and their beautiful, healthy 9mo old pit bull Iree (had to get the names down before I forgot them). After a dissapointing day in the lab I was happy I spotted these young travellers just before I stepped on my bus to head home. They appear to be travellers by choice, taking advantage of their youth to see the country. They are on their way down to Arizona to visit friends and thaw out a bit before heading back to central Oregon or back around here.
They decided they wanted to go to Subway which is quickly becoming my default place. If they hadn't had a dog with them I would have tried to take them to The Cheesecake Factory which is right near there but I didn't think that would work with their puppy. With a little arm twisting they both gratefully got foot longs and a pop. We passed the time waiting in line by talking about diabetes in general and a bit about my research. And I got to reassure them that there is nothing to be concerned about regarding nuclear waste exposure in the rain over here from the tragedy in Japan. Something they'd been somewhat worried about since they spend 24/7 outside...thank you sensational news outlets for giving these people one more thing to trouble over.
I will be praying that they get down to Arizona safely.

Lent 2011 Part IV

This morning there was a well bundled individual with a very detailed sign and a walker sitting on the ground at the corner where I get off the bus. I'm hardwired to get across the street right after exiting the bus, so I didn't even see the person until I got across the street to wait for the next walk signal. I worked my way back and under the ragged and dirty but abundant winter clothes was an approximately 40 year old man. Pitted, cracked and brown with plaque, the teeth that formed his otherwise nice and pleasant smile looked absolutely excruciating to have in one's head.

I asked him if I could buy him some breakfast. I listed a few of the places in the vicinity (I really should do some research on options around here) but he said he'd eaten breakfast already at the shelter and would only like some black coffee from the Starbucks a few shops away to keep him warm. I went and got it for him as it would have been a hassle for him to get there with his walker and all his things. It made me glad I'm not a coffee drinker...the line in there was crazy! I brought him his coffee, he thanked me and I went on my way.

This man and the people I've had the opportunity to speak with before have all been so calm and grateful. I must admit I anticipated a bit more of a challenge when I started doing this and I'm trying not to let myself be caught off-guard in the future when I will inevitably have an experience with someone who is harder to talk to; someone more bitter about their situation, without the psychological ability to control who or what that bitterness is directed toward. I suppose I expect this behavior because I can't imagine what I would do in their situation. I can see myself not being as gracious as the people I've encountered so far, though I'd obviously like to be...who can know for certain without actually being put in their shoes.

Just a coffee hardly satisfies my Lenten commitment for the week so I should be posting another reflection later today or this week.  Thanks for reading :)

Lent 2011 Part III

I remembered a brief experience I had several months ago. While I was on jury duty I was walking to a pizza place I had gone to the day before during lunch and passed a man asking for money. I didn't have any cash and I had a whole hour for lunch so I asked him if he'd like to get some pizza with me. We walked several blocks together in an awkward silence and he got his pizza and took it outside to eat alone. This was the first time I had done anything beyond giving someone money so I think that maybe this experience is what gave me the idea to pursue it as a Lenten project.

Today, with leftovers for lunch, I didn't meet anyone until I was on my way home at 5pm-ish. As I exited the convention center, through which I walk on my way to the bus, I saw someone with a cardboard sign and a fox tail across the street. Initially I convinced myself that I was too tired and could always do this tomorrow and I continued to the bus stop a couple blocks away. As I waited for the bus I was realizing that I was trading the 15 minutes or so to get someone food for a tiny bit of comfort for myself. There were a lot of people waiting for the bus so I decided to leave it up to chance...if there wasn't room on the next bus that showed up I would go back and get them lunch. When two 312s showed up I was able to laugh at how ridiculous I was being trying to justify and finagle my way around this commitment I'd made so I crossed the street and started my way back.

Right across the street I ran into a Vet, as his sign read, sitting on the ground asleep at a corner with a plastic cup in front of him. I thought about it and decided to let him sleep, I felt I'd already picked who I was going to go to. Just across the street there was a young man who's sign said he was just trying to get home, I decided to ask him if I could get him something from Subway and he walked with me. He told me that he was trying to get home to someplace in California, I didn't catch the city name. He was pretty nice, very thankful and very annoyed at his friends who had "abandoned" him up here. He said he wasn't used to the weather.

I had the sandwich maker double his meatball sandwich with chipoltle sauce and a coke (It seems he'd had occasion to order the same thing earlier in the day so they knew what he wanted already) and brought the second sandwich to the first person I'd seen with the tail. Evidently the two knew each other, siblings?, as he followed me over and started talking with the girl with the tail. They both thanked me and I ran off to narrowly miss the 522. Hopefully they make it home alright.

Lent 2011 Part II

It took me at least 15 minutes walking around downtown today to find anybody in need of lunch. The gentleman I found was a very homeless African American about my age or a little younger. He was in the process of getting lunch out of a trash can in Westlake Park. As I approached behind him he opened one of those dipping containers of ranch dressing and started licking it out.

I asked him if I could buy him lunch and he said okay. I said he could go anywhere he wanted and he suggested McDonalds...I mentioned a place around the corner I hadn't been to but silently figured it had to be better than McDonalds and he said that sounded good so we went to Georgio's Subs  He looked fairly healthy but he must have had a leg injury because he walked very slowly. At first I didnt' know if he was just trying to not embarrass me by walking next to me but when I slowed down, his pace didn't change and I finally noticed a very slight limp. He got a meatball sub but they didn't have coffee so we went next door to get him a cup of black coffee.  

I left him with $10 because I wanted to keep him out of the trash can for at least one more meal...but his situation still leaves me feeling sick and depressed...not that I hadn't seen other people doing the same thing before...  Nobody deserves to live off my trash.  His demeanor was definitely not inviting me to eat with him, though I didn't ask.  Now I find myself near tears as I sit down to lunch and open my packet of starburst with my egg salad sandwich -- I realized on my way back up the hill to work that it's Friday and I'd ordered a turkey sub for myself so I stuck it in the fridge and went across the street to get another, more appropriate, sandwich (no meat).

I don't know what to say about today's experience. I'm overwhelmed by the need to keep doing this more and more and at the same time I know I can't afford to do it too much, or even much more than I am right now to be honest...money sucks. It's a strange feeling but it seems like it's a lot harder, emotionally and materialistically, to give to someone with great needs than it is to give to someone with moderate needs.

Even failblog is failing to cheer me up right now...which, I suppose, is a good thing.

Lent 2011 Part I

A few days late but, Happy Lent everybody.  For Lent I'm trying something a little different. I was going to keep it personal but maybe it's better if I share my experiences.

At least once every week I am going downtown to find someone on the street asking for money and buying them lunch.

My first attempt last week was a major fail.  I was waiting for the bus to go home from work and a woman came up to me with a ragged paper cup, in tears, asking for money.  At the same moment my bus showed up and so I was distracted.  I don't carry cash, I told her so, appologized and got on my bus.  Only then did I realize what an opportunity I'd missed to get a good start on my Lenten promises so I got back off my bus and wandered around several blocks looking for her but didn't see her again.  Hopefully someone else was good enough to give her some money so she was inside somewhere getting what she needed.

The next day, eager after my failure, I found a young guy, probably about my age, who had just hitch hiked from Montana. He didn't want to leave his corner because someone else had promised to bring him some money after going to an ATM so I brought him some pizza slices and pop and he was very thankful.

Then last week on my way back from the Beat The Bridge team captain meeting (shameless plug: please join my team!  www.beatthebridge.org/goto/bri) I tried to ask an old man if he'd like lunch.  I learned then that, in fact, beggars can be choosers...I felt bad afterwards for not trying harder but he didn't want to walk with me but about 20 minutes the other direction to the waterfront for lunch.  I guess he probably makes enough on that corner to buy himself whatever lunch he wants.  He spat prolifically when he talked too so I wasn't exactly unhappy to move on at the time.  Now it depresses me to think how easily I lose my resolve.

Today I found a gentleman I'd seen on his corner many times before. I took him to One Union Square and he picked the first restaurant I mentioned (he couldn't see well), Blue Water Taco Grill. He was probably in his late 40s though he looked near 60. His cardboard sign told me that he was a Vet so I asked him about it and he told me that he spent 12 years in the navy before being discharged after one too many bar fights with "those Marines...always looking for a fight." He was very mild mannered, thankful and kind.

I'm still working my way into being comfortable with this but I think I'll try to step it up next week and see if they want to eat with me as well. I think the interpersonal aspects of this whole thing may be more valuable to them than the lunch.

More to come, I suppose, as Lent progresses.